An Open Letter to Senator Hillary Clinton

TO: Senator Hillary Clinton

FROM: The Bone 2008 Presidential Campaign

Dear Senator Clinton,

Much ado has been made over the past week of your musings that your fellow Senator, Barack Obama, might very well be an ideal running mate for you should you become the Democratic Party's Presidential nominee. This was an excellent strategy on the part of your campaign, despite the fact that, given Senator Obama's impressive lead in the delegate count, it may be perhaps a bit premature.

It is in this spirit that I would like to suggest that a Bone/Clinton presidential ticket would be nigh-unstoppable, and formally invite you to join my campaign as my running mate.

After several meetings with my advisors we've realized that, although my leftist platform will play well on the West Coast, I will need a more conservative voice on the ticket in order to win in the South. And you, honorable Senator, are the ideal candidate to provide that balance. The evidence. I feel confident that together, your conservatism and my vision (and awesomeness) will unite this country, build a bridge to the 22nd century, keep America safe, blah blah blah. You know the drill. We can totally take McCain... I mean, he may have been tough when he was a Corinthian POW during the Peloponnesian War or whatever, but have you seen the dude lately?

Anyway, should you accept please feel free to bring some of that sweet drug company campaign cash with you. My chief campaign advisor looked at our financials today and suggested that I buy Dodd's and Huckabee's buttons and T-shirts at a discount, cross their names off and write in my own as a money-saving gesture, and it'd be kind of rad to not have to resort to those measures. To quote from Amélie, these are hard times for dreamers.

I await your reply.

Sincerely,

The Bone